Worthless
by theothergranger
Summary: Alice Cullen knows she must be going mad, but nothing can prepare her for meeting the demon sent from her own personal Hell. AxJ, post Breaking Dawn.
1. Shock Therapy

_I'm going insane. Again. Absolutely batty. Completely loopy,_ I thought as I paced across the large backyard of my family's home, holding my head as I went. I groaned and sank to the ground, crossing my legs under me and not worrying about the fact that I had just sat in mud while wearing a pair of rather expensive designer jeans. I could buy more. With a growl I flopped out onto my back, staring as the water poured from the clouds of onyx and splashed onto my face, plastering my dark black hair to my forehead. Lightening sparked above me, splitting open the sky before being followed with a deafening roll of thunder. It was definitely the worst storm Forks had seen since my family had moved there, and it would be the last Forks storm we saw for a while come the weekend. Carlisle had purchased a large section of land that straddled the border of Canada, the section being large enough to be a sizeable state park. When you could buy islands, though, what was an ostentatious bit of acreage in the Pacific Northwest? Another small fact about the plans to move is that we are planning on taking almost a third of the Quileute with us for some reason completely unbeknownst to me. I was all for bringing Jacob, but three _hundred_ werewolves? It was going to be agonizing, something I had not shared with Edward or any of the others. Edward had begun to stay clear of my mind, as I had figured out how to keep him out when I didn't want him, and I hadn't vocalized my discontent to anyone else. Not even Jasper knew how opposed I was to picking up part of La Push and bringing it with us.

There was a crack of thunder so loud I actually jumped, causing more mud to splatter me. Not that I cared at this point, I was sure I looked like some heinous mud creature. I was surprised by my lack of interest in my appearance, but when you were damn near certain you were going mad, there was no point wasting time on outward appearances.

Why did I think I was going mad? It had to be because of the constant headaches I was having because of Jacob and all the other wolves. Well, scratch that, they were far worse than headaches. They always got worse in the morning, and sunlight aggravated them so severely that I had covered the windows of my room with metal plating, which was in turn covered with thick black curtains. The headaches came from my totally being blind. I couldn't see anything in the future that was farther than ten or fifteen seconds away because everything I looked for involved the people that blocked my visions. Not being able to see made me a nervous wreck, and I couldn't help but try to look, which made the headaches worse. I felt nauseated most of the time, though I was a vampire and there was nothing I could do about it. I had started avoiding Jacob and Renesmee because they both intensified the pressure that seemed to constantly press against my head. Soon it was going to have to come to me or them, I couldn't take it anymore. I hated myself for being such a freak, actually, it was more than hate, I positively loathed myself. For a while, a very long while, everything had been perfect, but I had begun to realize that I was unlovable. There was never enough room for me to be happy for long, and selfish as that was, I really, really didn't want to feel so insane and crazed all the time. I couldn't tell anyone that Jacob and Renesmee were making me unhappy, I would be laughed at. Or I would ruin the family. I covered my forehead with my hands, which were cooler by the tiniest amount. I had to be imagining that, I couldn't be running a fever, it was physically impossible!

What made everything worse was that I had begun to remember random pieces of the my past, something that had been a mystery to me. Everything I recalled was increasingly hellish. Darkness with no chance of daylight, being unloved, being completely and utterly alone in a place where no one cared if you screamed. In fact, they expected you to. I realize now that everything I fear most as a vampire stems from that time in my life that was supposed to be my childhood. My parents didn't love me, I was worthless in the asylum, just another howling lunatic, and now my life was being overrun by dogs and halflings. I groaned and resigned to my room, where I was joined by Jasper.

"Alice." He said, cupping my face in his hands.

"Jasper." I said, completely deadpan.

"I'm going hunting later, want to come?" he asked, peering at my eyes, attempting to discern my state of hunger.

"I'll be fine." I said.

Once Jasper was gone I took a long, cold shower shortly after stripping off my muddy clothing and leaving it on the floor. I wrapped a towel around myself and sat down in front of my vanity, studying my face. I looked wrong. That seemed to be the only way to put it. I looked paler than normal and my eyes were blacker than coal. The shadows under my eyes were a deep shade of purple, and my expression was tired and angry. With a sigh, I turned my attention to my cropped hair. Most humans thought it was a fashion statement that only I could pull off, but I knew it was really only a relic of the asylum. They had shaved my hair when I was admitted, or at least I assumed this is when it happened, in an attempt to prevent the spread of lice as well as dehumanize me. That was the worst part. For so long I wasn't counted as human. And I still wasn't. As I stared, the edges of the room seemed to blacken, and behind me it seemed there was a man facing a small girl. I whipped around, teeth bared, prepared to fight whatever had crept up on me from my past, but the figures only seemed to invade my mind more.

"_Inmate 24601 seems to maintain her seer-like qualities are real and that she is not insane." Said the man to a large window in the wall. "24601, could you please tell me your name?" The girl, tiny with no hair, spoke in a high pitched voice._

"_Mary Alice Brandon." She replied, a slight Southern twang evident in her voice. The man frowned and made a note on his clipboard. For the first time, it became evident that there were three thin wires connected to the girl. One on each forearm, and the third just below the hollow of her throat. The man raised a hand towards the window, and on cue, there was a loud electric popping and the small girl was electrocuted. She didn't scream, much to the chagrin of the man._

"_24601, please tell me your name." He repeated, eyeing her intently. With a gulp, the girl opened her mouth to speak once more._

"_Mary Alice Brandon." She said with a gasp. The man raised his hand again. This time, she screamed._

"_Please state your name." The man said once more, smiling at her. She closed her eyes tightly as if she was trying to remember the correct answer._

"_Mary. Alice. Brandon." She said harshly, refusing to give any other name. This time, however, the man did not raise his hand to the window._

"_Your name is 24601," he growled. "You are worthless, you are abandoned. You have no _real _name," he said, pulling the wires off of the now trembling child. "Your name is 24601, you will spend the next three days in solitary confinement."_

When the memory faded I realized I had fallen to the floor, and I sat up with a howl. I thought of the leer on the man's face and cringed. He was right, I was crazy, and now, without my second sight, I was totally worthless. I realized that had I been in a better state of mind I would have ignored the face from my past, but now I couldn't help but believe he was right.


	2. The Night Guard

**Thank you to those who reviewed, favorited, and put on alert lists. I was glad to see a positive reaction to the first chapter. Please read and leave thoughts, constructive criticism, compliments, and anything else for this chapter as well. **

**The song for this chapter is "Broken" by Seether. I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Au revoir, **

**TheOtherGranger  
**

I spent most of the day staring at the ceiling of my room waiting for the sun to go down. The storm had ended quickly, the sun replacing it in moments, filling my room with an obnoxiously bright light, despite the coverings of the windows. I hid my face under a blanket and tried not the breathe. I could hear Jacob downstairs, and the scent of wolf would only make my head pound more. If I could cry from the pain, I would. I didn't think for the entire day, either, which was a rather tedious endeavor, as I usually had quite a bit to be thinking about. Eventually, when thinking about nothing failed, I began to think of Jasper and I and our honeymoon on Esme's Island many, many years ago. While I didn't think about anything we had done, I thought of how happy we had been and how in place and wanted I had felt. I hadn't seen Jasper all day, and that seemed to upset me more than the fact that I was holding my self prisoner in a dark room. I knew he had gone hunting, but I had assumed he wouldn't go far. Now I wanted him with me.

I heard Renesmee giggle at something Jacob said, and being alone made me resent them both even more.

"We're off then!" I heard Jacob say. I was tempted to yell down to him that there was no need to shout, we could all hear him, but my mouth felt too dry to articulate the words. The door opened, closed, and I could breathe again. Of course, the scent of the mutt was still hanging in the air and I felt a strong urge to gag. Breathing again I tried to determine who was in the house. Emmett, Esme, and Edward. No Jasper. I made a sour face as something like worry and more loneliness tug on my heart. I wanted, no needed, my Jasper. I felt like a toddler looking for a lost teddy bear. It was dark, though, and I suddenly had no desire to be alone. Pouting, I descended the stairs quietly. I could hear someone speaking in the kitchen, and I paused, recognizing the smooth voice of Edward and the chiding, motherly voice of Esme. They sounded like they were arguing, and it smelled like Emmett was in there too, but not speaking.

"Why would you tell me I shouldn't look?" I heard Edward hiss. "Do you not see how she is when she's down here? If she ever comes down long enough to be seen, that is. I'm just worried." Esme gave a sigh of annoyance, and I paused near the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her to speak.

"We're all worried, Edward, but that does not give you an excuse to look through her thoughts and you know that. You told her you wouldn't do that, do not break your promise." Esme snapped, and I heard her turn towards the door. Damn. "Alice, dear, I can smell you." With a grumble I shoved my hands into the front pocket of the jacket I was wearing and stepped into the room, squinting in the rather bright fluorescent lighting. Everyone stared at me expectantly, like they were waiting for me to speak. Emmett looked like he might say something stupid, and for a second I tried to glimpse into the future, only to be rewarded with something that felt like being punched in the nose. I must have hissed audibly, because Emmett stood and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"I'm not going to pass out," I said, shrugging him off. "And why are you all staring at me?" I snapped, glaring at each of them in turn. Emmett shrugged and lumbered off, turning on the television a few moments later. Esme looked around awkwardly, it seemed she had been expecting a fuzzier reaction from me. Edward stared me in the eyes, his own narrowed. He looked like someone who thought they had figured out your secret, and I wanted to punch the smug look right off of his face. Though I knew he hadn't read my mind, his reaction to my presence would have been much more visceral, but his expression made it seem like he was waving his ability over my head. Like if I didn't give him the answers he wanted he would just read my mind, not caring if the trust was broken.

"Will you please tell us what's going on, Alice?" asked Esme quietly, staring at Edward, who was still staring at me. "And will you stop looking at her like that, Edward?" she snapped, tapping him on the shoulder. He cleared his throat and stepped back, still eyeing me suspiciously.

"You can't read my mind through my expression," I said, changing it so it was exceptionally blank. I was beginning to feel rather annoyed. "Where is Jasper?" I asked, turning to Esme. She smiled.

"Out with Carlisle, didn't you see?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Oh, yes," I said hurriedly. "I was just wondering if anyone had heard from them since they left." I added. I clenched my teeth. So no one had figured out that I was now blind? That was probably a good thing, because if they did I didn't need my second sight to see myself spending hours being poked, prodded, and interrogated by Carlisle. No one would want me if I was blind.

"They should be back soon," Supplied Emmett, who had returned to the kitchen to stand with his arms crossed in the doorway. "Rose called me a few minutes before you came down." He was no Jasper, but I knew he sensed Edward's desire to know everything and now he was trying to save me.

"Thank you." I said, turning to leave. I was beginning to hate Edward the tiniest bit. He was the one who allowed Jacob and the other wolves in here to cloud up my mind, to torture me with the prolonged inability to see into the future. My hands clenched into fists and I heard someone follow me out of the kitchen. I turned, ready to scream at Edward or Esme, but I saw the pursuer was Emmett. I didn't mind if he came with me. I quite liked my burly older brother, actually. He wasn't going to ask prying questions or try to reason with me. He would take my side and help me rant or help me sit there in silence if need be, that was the way he had always been. Plus, his ability to make a joke out of anything would surely help somewhat, and being in close proximity with another vampire would hopefully help clear my mind. Emmett would make the craziness subside for a while. Everyone else could get so uptight about small things, but Emmett and I seldom did, which is why he made a perfect friend.

"So, is this a serious talking session? Or am I allowed to act like an idiot?" he asked once we were in my room. He was sprawled out across my bed, leaving only the corner for me to sit. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed.

"I don't know." I frowned.

"And what's up with the metal window covers? Are you some kind of vampire?" he asked, poking me in the thigh. I groaned. He snorted. "I'm sorry, I'm being inappropriate, aren't I?" he asked, his face becoming strangely somber. It didn't look like him, and sure enough he began to smile again. I thought of what it was going to mean to leave my burly brother and I pouted.

"No, you're fine," I said, not wanting to spoil his fun. It was probably some of the last he would have with me. The only other thing I had thought about when shut away in my room was how I would make my clean escape and if I would take Jasper. I hadn't decided if Jasper would probably be better off staying with our family. They would keep him true to his vegetarianism, something I might struggle with, and he wouldn't want to be around me anyway. The more I remembered the less desirable I seemed to become. I still hadn't made my decision about him, but I did have one plan down. When we were all packed and leaving, I would insist on taking my own car, alone, and simply drive in the opposite direction. I would leave it somewhere and go on foot using a fake idea. Jasper and Bella weren't the only people who could get things from J. Jenks, although I would probably have to get a contact of his to go to instead of the man himself because Jasper could be quite intimidating and it would be too easy to find my alias. "And besides, you would be very boring if you were serious."

"True sir!" he exclaimed loudly. He lowered his voice and spoke again. "But if you want to tell me what's wrong, you should go right ahead. Before Edward does his voodoo on your head and tells everyone what's bothering you." He said, his eyes darting around the room. I smiled and gave him the answer I had prepared earlier.

"I guess it's my teenage angst setting in late," I said with a shrug. "I'll be fine, I'm just really moody right now. I thought I should stay up here so that I don't make people mad when I'm being all testy."

"You shouldn't hole yourself away because you're afraid of offending other people," Emmett said before thinking for a moment. "I just offend people outright, maybe you should do the same. Everyone still seems to like me!" he laughed, flashy me a goofy teddy-bear smile. I gave him a pat on the hand. Normally I would have joked, but I just didn't feel like saying anything that might make me laugh. My head hurt a little less, I actually forgot for a moment. That was the thing, though. What Emmett had said. He could be a total ass but everyone loved him regardless. Rosalie didn't avoid him when he was acting weird. Edward didn't try to get inside his head to fish out the answers. Esme didn't stare at him like he might explode. That was where we were different. Everyone thought I had the potential to be crazy, that was clear now, meaning they had always thought I had the most potential to lose it. I suddenly felt incredibly angered and annoyed by his presence.

"Yes, you're just the special child, aren't you?" I sighed, patting him on the head to make it seem like a joke and not an admission of jealousy. Why did the love for him get to be unconditional? We sat in silence for several minutes.

"I'll leave you alone, if you want." He said finally. I was actually quite glad for him to make the suggestion.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Ems," I said, using my special nickname for him. "I really don't mean to be so grouchy." He smiled and patted me on the head before exiting my room, closing the door behind him. I close my eyes and fell backwards onto the now empty bed. I flexed my hands, making and uncurling fists as I thought of how Emmett could get away with anything. Silence invaded the room, I couldn't even hear the members of my soon to be ex family downstairs. Either they were gone or they were being silent so they did not annoy me. I wanted Jasper again, more than earlier. I wanted to feel his arms around me, I wanted to be able to spend time with him. I wanted him to take everything wrong like he always found a way to do. I curled into the fetal position, a learned position of safety and comfort, and wrapped my arms around my legs, squeezing my eyes shut. I was going to try and wait out the time it would take for Jasper and the others to get back. For some reasoned it seemed like eternity. With my eyes shut, I thought I could hear a knock. When I raised my head, however, I was sure I had imagined it. The room suddenly seemed small and dark, and there was someone outside the smaller, darker space calling for someone else.

_"24601?" said the voice outside the cell. The girl inside raised her head, her hollow, angry eyes searching for the voice._

_"Yes?" replied the girl, her voice rough and cracked from lack of use. There was a scraping of keys against metal and the girl curled into a smaller, tighter ball. The voice ordered her to step away from the door, but she needn't move, she was curled in a ball on the opposite side of the cell. When the door finally opened, she squeezed her eyes shut, though they burned anyway from the sudden exposure of light. She whimpered. The man ordered her to stand, and he crossed the cell towards her, reaching for her wrist, which she yanked away. She didn't want to be touched by him. Or anyone._

_"Do we really have to do this again? You know it makes everything worse." He said, grabbing her thin wrists in one hand._

_"Please!" she whimpered when he twisted her arms uncomfortably. He was a night guard, so she assumed it was night. She knew what happened to her every night was wrong, but there was no one she could tell, no one would listen or care. She tried to fight for a minute, but it was useless. He was gigantic in comparison, and he won the fight over her innocence on weight alone, pinning her to the floor. She continued to scream, but he wouldn't stop. When he finally did, she was sobbing silently, laying on the floor like a broken doll._

_"I'll see you tomorrow." Said the man, smiling and giving her a pat on the head._

When I opened my eyes again I realized I was screaming hysterically. My head felt like it was going to explode, it ached so badly that I found myself clutching it. It hurt so badly I thought I just might die from the agony alone. It took me several minutes before I was able to focus on what I had just seen. I couldn't believe it, and all of a sudden I felt hopeless, worthless, and vile. I didn't want Jasper anymore. I didn't want anyone, I didn't want anything.

**I hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Aura Lee

**Dear Readers,**

**Think you to all the feedback I received. Please, let me know what you think of the story! Reviews are fun and help me make the story better!**

**The song for this chapter is "Sorrow" by Flyleaf.**

**Au revoir,**

**TheOtherGranger**

When I calmed down enough to think in a somewhat straight direction, I checked my phone, which had been incessantly buzzing for the last half hour. I opened it, being very careful not to crush it in my furiously trembling hands. I pushed the open button and set the phone down on my nightstand, my hands were shaking too much for me to read the messages while I was holding it, and I began to read the first of four text messages from my family. The first one was naturally from Edward.

_From: Edward_

_To: Alice_

_Alice, we went out to do some grocery shopping for Renesmee and Jacob. Call if you need anything, we didn't want to disturb you._

I groaned, though I was relieved they had left, it meant no one had been around to hear me scream, something I was thankful for. The last thing I needed was for my family to interrogate me about what had been wrong. If it weren't for Edward I could always lie and say I had seen a terrible vision, but if I tried to do so now he would read my mind and tell everyone I was lying, that I had been seeing visions of my past. Then I would be thrown to Rosalie, who would try to help me from personal experience with Royce King. Not that I wanted help, there was nothing to do now. It was done. The man was dead, as I should be. It was so long ago, and in theory irrelevant, so why did it bother me so much? The second message was from Rosalie, speak of the devil.

_From: Rose_

_To: Alice, Emmett_

_Please save me, I'm so bored. Bella is about to try to drown herself from boredom, I can tell. HELP!_

I cracked a small smile at Rosalie's message. She didn't have a fascination with hunting like Jasper and Carlisle, so she was naturally very bored. I could imagine her and Bella sitting on the edge of the forest, dying from boredom as Carlisle and Jasper, it hurt to think of him for some reason, ran around the forest hunting and drinking their fill. Carlisle was supposed to be our father, but whenever he went hunting he acted like a complete child, something that had always made me laugh. The third message was from Emmett, and I opened it grudgingly. Had I not just been talking to him?

_From: Ems_

_To: Alice_

_Darling baby sister: Please forgive me, but I may or may not have told a certain husband of yours that you were upset about something… haha, love you!_

It took all my willpower not to smash the phone. Or find Emmett and do the same to his head. I knew he probably had the best intentions, but the more I could keep Jasper out of my emotional issues the better it was for both of us and what I was going to have to do in the near future. He was going to unearth every emotion I was feeling so he could help change it, something I didn't want him to do. If he saw how worthless I was feeling? Alone? Dejected? It would kill him. He would take blame upon himself, something I would never want him to do. I opened the fourth text.

_From: Jazz_

_To: Alice_

_I'm on my way home. One hour._

When I checked the timestamp on the message I realized with a sinking sensation he had sent the message about fifty minutes ago. I scrambled to collect myself. I couldn't let Jasper see me so upset after what I had just seen. Then he would ask Edward to take a peek at my mind, then he would know, then he would pity me and think I was crazy. I bolted to my wardrobe and pulled out some attire better suited to my taste than the sweatshirt and shorts I was wearing. I pulled out a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt, then I ran a hand through my hair. There was little point in brushing it because it was so short. I didn't look like myself in simple clothes like shorts and baggy sweatshirts, and I felt much more comfortable in the jeans and shirt. Still barefoot, I trudged downstairs to wait for Jasper. I checked my phone every couple seconds, counting down the time to his arrival. Five minutes passed, agonizingly slow, and I walked over to the piano, poking at the keys thoughtlessly. It took everything I had _not_ to focus on everything I had just seen, to not focus on how upset I truly was. My hands clenched and unclenched as my mind wandered too far back to the scene in my bedroom. I almost didn't take my hands off of the piano in time, Edward would be very upset if I broke it. I checked my phone again. Another minute had passed. I growled. Being immortal, time usually seemed to fly, but today it was dragging. Actually, it was positively inching forward in the most time consuming manner it could. I plinked a few other keys on the piano, playing the first notes of "Aura Lee," a song from the civil war. I frowned and shook my head, but continued to play. Jasper thought it was so adorable when I played the song, he usually sang it to me when I was upset. With a sigh I put my hands in my lap, suddenly wanting him again. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt him wrap his arms around my shoulders, singing softly.

"_Take my heart and take my ring, I give my all to thee, take me for eternity, my dearest Aura Lee_," he muttered softly. I grabbed his hand and turned around, eyes wide. He made a face. "Did I scare you?" he asked, grinning. I smiled wryly.

"I didn't hear you." I said simply, standing. I wrapped my arms around his tall frame, my head resting against his chest. I wanted to tell him everything, but my Jasper couldn't know. He needed someone to be perfect for him, someone ready to help him whenever he thought about humans in a way ill-fitting of our lifestyle, someone to remind him everything was good. I couldn't tell him. He lifted me up so that we were face to face, my feet dangling several feet off the floor.

"Emmett told me you were upset." He said, kissing me on the forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head against his shoulder.

"It's nothing." I said with a sigh. He laughed.

"I would say it is something," he said, his brow furrowing. "You seem very upset." He added, setting me down so I was standing on the piano bench. It felt odd to be eye level with him, but I knew he wanted to make sure I couldn't lie.

"I just missed you." I said, pouting. I thought for a moment my simple excuse might work, but Jasper shook his head.

"Alice, you know you can tell me. Whatever it is. Please?" Jasper muttered, looking into my eyes. My heart fluttered for a moment, and then fell as I read the expression on his face. He looked so confused, so hurt that I would feel like I needed to hide something from him. I gave him a small kiss and he gave a very low growl. "Please don't try to distract me." I frowned.

"I'm just kind of disappointed to be leaving Forks," I began, quickly conjuring up a lie to satiate him. "We've all had so many good memories here. And I really was upset because I missed you. I don't like being away from you, Jazz," I whispered. My chest ached as I spoke the lie. The words I was speaking to him now should not have been part of a lie, or a diversion, rather. I did hate being away from him, but if I decided to go with my plan of leaving the _entire_ family… I shuddered. "I need you." I finished, burying my face in his neck so he couldn't see my expression. I felt him trying to calm me down and make me peaceful, and it worked. For the first time in weeks I felt nothing at all. Not the heartache from betraying him, not the pain from what I was beginning to remember.

"I love you." He said quietly. I leaned back and looked at his expression. He looked so upset and dejected, my emotions swiftly changed.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, feeling rather angry. He ruffled my hair.

"I can't help but feel like there's something I'm not doing. You deserve more than such evil emotions," he groaned. "I can't change them sometimes, they're too strong. Why do you feel so worthless? You are the most precious thing on this earth." He moaned, taking my hands in his own much larger ones. I gave a low, wry laugh.

"Jasper, you're everything I could ever ask for." I gasped, wanting to cry. He was being so masochistic, so unlike himself. It was true, and now I felt like a complete idiot. A complete bitch. Jasper didn't deserve to be so upset just because _I _was going crazy.

"I want to make everything perfect for you." He said firmly.

"Having you is enough," I said, and I found myself wanting to say it again. Anything to make me believe myself. To make him believe me. "And don't ever think I don't love you, Jasper Whitlock." I growled, smiling as I felt a wave of happiness wash over me. I knew he was causing it to do so, but I also knew that it was working.

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	4. More Like Math

**Dear Readers,**

**As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. Please continue to do so, I like your feedback. Also thanks to those who put my story and my penname on alert lists. In addition, please forgive spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. I will have this story proofread from this point on, however, there was not enough time for me personally to do so for this chapter.**

**The song for this chapter is "Monster" by Meg and Dia.**

**Au revoir,**

**TheOtherGranger**

That night Jasper helped me pack away the rest of my belonging. Well, he didn't really help, he lounged on our bed with a roll of packaging tape, appearing when I needed it. He helped me sort through piles and piles of clothes, but like always, I never let him throw anything away. I realized this time, however, a great deal of items were going to have to be left on the moving truck for the family. I thought how they would feel when they got to Canada and discovered I was gone, and I wondered what they would do with my clothes or if they would even miss me. With Renesmee, though, I doubted they would. They would have a distraction at least. Jasper had been projecting waves of happiness and peace into the air for the last hour and a half, so I found it hard to become upset, but I found a way to. With a sigh I continued to stow away still in style clothing in a few of the smaller boxes, the boxes that would be easier to fit into my new car, which I had received from Edward as a Christmas present on Renesmee's second Christmas. He had figured I was being such a good aunt that I deserved an even better car than my Porsche. It was an '09 Spyker with an engine that had been modified drastically by Rosalie. It was perfect, the only problem being the limited room for cargo. I thought of how the next Christmas was probably going to be spent alone, no family, no Edward and his obnoxiously expensive gifts, and maybe no Jasper. After spending the evening with my husband, the thought of being without him filled me with a sudden pang of grief and the box I was carrying nearly dropped to the floor. He was at my side instantly, sensing the spike in what I was feeling. He peeled my fingers off the box.

"Alice!" he groaned, kneeling down to set the box on the floor of the room. "What now?" he asked, grabbing my hands. I shook my head and thought for a minute.

"It's nothing," I lied, thinking of how to continue. "I just saw that… my sister might die soon." I muttered. He seemed oddly satisfied by the answer.

"It's good you saw something, you haven't told me about any visions for a while. And the death would explain the grief you were just feeling…" he muttered. For some reason it seemed like he was trying to convince himself. I tried not to focus on my remorse for lying, or he would pick up on that emotion too and I would only have more questions to answer. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts all of a sudden, so I could plan my escape. I only had one day left, and the wolves were beginning to swarm around the house more and more as the move day drew closer. My headache had gotten much worse during the day, even after Jasper had returned, and we had consequently spent most of the daylight hours in our room while he held me and rubbed my head. It sounded odd, but it had helped a little bit. At least then I hadn't been focusing on the awful smell pervading the house. Or the memories of my last two flashbacks, though I had begun to think of the second one more and more, which sparked my idea to pack early. I didn't want to be too close to Jasper at the moment, something that made me feel infinitely sad and angry. I was now afraid of my own husband. God damn. There was a rapping at the door and I nearly fell backwards out of shock. I needed to focus more on people moving in the present now, not just expecting their approach early. Jasper eyed me curiously and I shrugged as he moved to open the door. It was Rosalie. Shit. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe Edward had done a little digging and let something slip. She looked me up and down, surveying me, before she turned to Jasper.

"Emmett and Edward want you, they need you to run into town with them for some packaging supplies." She said, although it was clear he didn't have much of a choice. He tried anyway.

"I was going to help Alice finish packing…" he began, but Rosalie cut him off quickly.

"Yes, yes. Now go have boy time, I need to talk to your wife." She sighed, waving him away, clearly annoyed. Jasper gave me a kiss on the forehead and moved to the opposite side of the room.

"I'll be back soon, Alice. And in the meantime, please don't forget I love you." I said, shrugging into a jacket before bounding down the stairs. I heard him crash into Emmett, who laughed in his booming way, and by the sound of it carried Jasper out of the house.

"Love you too." I muttered as I heard Emmett's Jeep screech out of the driveway. I didn't look at Rosalie, but I could feel her staring at me in her hawkish knowledge-seeking way. I didn't know where I stood on talking to her about what I had begun to experience, mostly because I was afraid of the reaction she could have. She sat on my bed, tucking her legs under her. She patted the comforter, commanding me to sit down.

"So, what's up?" she asked when I was seated, though I did not look up at her. I flopped back on the bed with a sigh, staring up at my older sister.

"I don't know, nothing really. You?" I asked nonchalantly. She rolled her eyes.

"Funny, but I'm not trying to start a conversation with you, dear Alice, I've come to find out why you've suddenly turned into a recluse." Rosalie said simply, twisting a strand of her hair between her fingers.

"I don't know," I said, suddenly feeling tempted to tell her the truth. While I didn't want her pity, I could use her understanding. "Do you ever remember things about life?" Rosalie snorted.

"As a matter of fact, I do! I've actually been told it's quite common in those with a fully functioning brain," She said, patting me on the back of the hand. "But do you mean I remember things about my human life?" she asked in a dark tone.

"Yes, that's what I meant," I shrugged. "Like, did you forget for a long time?"

"Actually, yes. For a while I only remembered one thing," she paused, sneering. "But now I'm starting to remember more pleasant things. It's kind of weird," she said thoughtfully before turning her attention back to me. "Why, have you been remembering things?" I blanched before I thought of an answer lacking the insanity of my flashbacks.

"Not really, I've just been wondering…" I allowed my voice to trail off, hoping Rosalie would have a sudden attack of conceitedness and not ask me any other questions. Too bad for me, she decided to pursue the topic further.

"Is that why you've been acting so weird? Because you have remembered something?" she mused, watching for my response. I braced myself for the almighty wrath of Rosalie if I was caught in a lie.

"No, I haven't. I was wondering if it was normal to." The lie seemed to roll effortlessly off my tongue. I was becoming quite good at lying to those I loved. And pretty soon I would be skilled at betraying them. Well, said a voice in the back of my head, and this was my own voice, not a flashback. At least you're not running to the Volturi or something stupid and reckless. I tried to tell the voice to be quiet. Being truthful with myself, as I was the only person I told the truth to these days, I realized that I had considered going to the Volturi to have myself killed. Not that they would do it, however, they still wanted me too much to "waste" my talent, if I still had it. Killing myself would ensure a new beginning for the entire family, they could find someone to replace me. Not that I was being melodramatic, in fact, I saw it as an opportunity for both my family and I, not something to be mourned or fretted over. I was old enough to decide if I wanted to die, anyway. I thought checking plane ticket prices for flights to Egypt. There happened to be quite a few evil clans of vampires living there still, the kind who would kindly tear you to pieces if you asked them to. Planning my death seemed rather comforting, not something emotional that needed to be dwelled upon by others. No one needed to stop me, it was not about them. It was about me, it was more like math and less like psychology. I was unconnected from it, all I had to do was plug in the right equation and wait for death to come, then I could finally be at peace at last. Free of memories, free of hiding, free of being inhuman. I loved Jasper, more than anything in this world, and my actions would be selfish if I chose to go through with them, but it wasn't about him. It was about me, and for once I didn't want to be giving and caring Alice. I wanted to be conceited and selfish Alice.

I was jerked back to reality by a loud snapping sound.

"Alice! Hello!" Rosalie barked, snapping her fingers in my face again. When I finally focused on her she sighed. "Good lord, were you having a vision?"

"Yes." I said simply.

"What about? You looked kind of upset!" Rosalie's tone remained somber, as if she could predict what my vision would be. She probably thought someone's car was going to explode when we drove to Canada. Or Renesmee was going to fall down or something, heaven forbid. I grimaced as I thought about Renesmee, sure, her and Jacob were getting on my nerves, but would I honestly think it was funny if she got hurt? I hoped not, Bella and Edward would tear me to pieces.

"Why, did I look upset?" I asked, asking mostly to cover my bases and calculate the right lie.

"Yes, very!" I quickly conjured up a vision.

"If Marc Jacobs attends the show he is planning on going to this month, he is going to die in a car accident. No more clothes!" I cried, attempting to sound slightly chipper and yet depressed about the statement, like there was something wrong with someone else and nothing wrong with me. Rosalie shook her head and grimaced.

"That's not the only reason you're acting like Gollum up here, but I'll accept that answer until tomorrow. Give me a good one then, I can't stand you acting crazy," she shook her head again. "We all love you, remember that." She stood, giving me a quick squeeze, though it was slightly awkward because I was still splayed haphazardly across the bed, so she didn't really get any of my actual limbs in the embrace. She shut the door behind her with a soft click. That went well, hissed the voice in the back of mind once more, snider than the last time. I ignored myself and turned my attention to the boxes I needed to decide to leave with the family. I quickly sorted them into two stacks. I had decided to keep all the clothing I had bought within the past five years, as well as a pair of shorts I had stolen from Jasper. They fit me like a pair of pants, but I didn't mind. They smelled like him, although I found the fact of my enjoying this to be a bit weird. I would need something to remember him by, though.

"Hello, yes, you there." Said a voice behind me, soft, clearly male, but unknown to me. I wheeled around, flinging a box across the room in an effort to free my arms. There was no one there. I really must be going crazy. I had gone to pick up the box when the voice spoke again. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes I could see a girl and a man in a dark room with several books.

_"You're 24601?" asked the man. The girl, impossibly tiny and pale in her white asylum rags, gave a nod, her hollow, frightened eyes studying the man. One had a deep purple bruise over it, the side of her pale face had a jagged, red scratch down it. The man seemed to be staring at it until he spoke. "Can you tell me your name?" he asked, his tone kind. He was incredibly handsome, and she found it out that such a handsome, kind looking man would be found working in a place like this. She didn't answer his question, though. She had been through this time and time again. Her name was Mary Alice Brandon, she would not answer the question because she would not give the answer he wanted to hear. "I can sense that you think I'm going to hurt you," he said, taking a step forward into the dim light that kept the dark shadows of the library at bay. It had to have been an underground library. She ran a hand through her hair, it was spiky and short, she looked like a little boy. In the faint gleam of the lantern he had brought down she saw his eyes were the most beautiful shade of gold she had ever seen. "But I promise I won't." The girl nodded. Slowly, at first, but then vigorously._

_"My name," she said, staring up at him from the large table. "My name is Mary Alice Brandon," she seemed to think for a minute before she realized she should ask him the same question. "What is your name?" she queried, wrapping her arms around her thin torso, holding herself together, keeping herself safe. Although she was out of her cell, it would only be a matter of time before the guard returned and Hell became much worse. Her life had no purpose and she knew it. The man on the other end of the room smiled and answered the question._

_"My name is Solomon Greene, and I'm here to help you." The girl snorted loudly in disgust._

_"Really? You couldn't have done anything sooner!" she cried, her soft voicing rising an octave in anger. The man seemed impatient at first, but he calmed down quickly._

_"You are in danger, Mary Alice." He said cryptically. The tattered, sickly girl groaned, finding it hard to resist the urge to be impertinent. _

_"Is this all you're going to tell me?" Solomon smiled and shook his head, telling her he would speak to her again tomorrow. The girl dreaded the prospect. Looking at the hand shaped bruises on her arms, feeling the ones on her throat, she wondered if she would make it to tomorrow, secretly hoping she would not._

_That night the guard visited again. When he left she vomited, he had kicked her in the stomach, and she felt a bruise blossoming across the skin that was stretched tight across her ribs by starvation._

When I regained conscious thinking in the present I was sitting on the floor trembling. The memory had not been particularly bad, but I had finally looked into the eyes of the man who had saved me. Solomon Green. I wished I could thank him, but the loss of my savior had come to pass a long while ago. He could have been killed months after his first visit to me, weeks, even, if he had moved quickly enough for James to discover he had changed me. For the first time since the flashbacks had begun, I found myself wishing I had seen more.

**Thank you for reading, and as always, I hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Juxtaposition

**Hello! I am terribly, terribly sorry about the long delay between chapters. I worked hard to finish this one as soon as I could, but personal, health, and computer problems delayed the chapter. You needn't worry, however, as I have already begun the next chapter, which shall be a special surprise as it's written from dun dun dun… Jasper's point of view!**

**Please read and review, criticize, etc. I could use some good constructive criticism!**

**And you should do the poll on my profile regarding the fate of Alice! Mwahaha.**

**Song for this chapter is "Wine Red" by the Hush Sound**

**Au revoir,**

**TheOtherGranger**

When Jasper, Emmett, and Edward returned I was moving boxes of clothes out to the moving van we had bought a few weeks prior to the date of packing day. Most of what I was moving was old clothes I had no interest in, I was saving the clothes I liked and had bought recently to be loaded into my car. For some reason it seemed like a lot of work.

"Need any help?" Emmett asked as he dragged Edward up the stairs in a headlock. Jasper was trailing behind them looking very amused. He crossed the yard to me, taking the box out of my hands.

"Emmett, unhand me!" Edward snarled, his hands scrabbling over Emmett's beefy forearm. He pretended not to hear Edward.

"Ignore him," Emmett said, covering Edward's mouth with his hand. "I've got to go give him to Bella now." I felt a pang. Bella was home and she hadn't come to see me? She had sensed I was acting strange, I knew it, but she was doing a pretty poor job as far as being a best friend went. Jasper put his arm around my shoulders having returned from loading the box into the truck.

"You look exhausted." He commented, his forehead crinkling. I rubbed the bridge of my nose, still listening as Emmett dragged Edward through the house, only to be reprimanded by Esme.

"I was lifting boxes." I said, turning into him and giving him a squeeze around the middle. He made a low noise of distaste. My eyes narrowed as I looked up at him.

"You shouldn't be tired lifting boxes is all," he said softly, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "When did you last hunt?" I snorted, he needn't ask, my eyes were blacker than pitch.

"I don't know, I'm not thirsty though." I smiled, taking him by the hand to lead him back to the house. I saw Edward had dropped his car keys on the driveway, and I didn't want to be here when he brought Bella with him to retrieve him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and while his question came with the best of intentions for some reason it only served to annoy me.

"Yes, I'm sure." I sighed. He darted across the drive, loaded the box into the truck, and slid shut the metal door. It clanged against the bottom of the truck, locking into position and shattering my ear drums, or at least that's how it felt. Loud, sudden noises were actually quite painful now, and being a vampire, most noises were loud and sudden. The only problem with feeling pain as a vampire was it was always a huge shock, the pain multiplied simply by the fact that you were not used to feeling it. Even the slightest twinge of pain felt like agony underneath rock hard, impenetrable skin.

He returned to my side quickly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to pull me towards him as I was led back into the house. It was beginning to rain and he tucked my head against his chest, shielding my face from the rain. When we reached the door he held it open for me and I stepped into the foyer of our now empty house, shaking the water out of my hair. Jasper smiled and simply raked his hair back, shaking the water off his fingers. I could hear a rather loud commotion coming from the kitchen. Jasper quirked his eyebrow and led me by the hand in the direction of the sound. We arrived just in time to see Rosalie hurl a frying pan at Edward.

"You insensitive ass!" she screeched, becoming only more enraged when Edward caught the pan with such force it seemed to melt around his hand. Standing slightly behind Jasper I couldn't help but snicker, although the shrill screaming coming from Rosalie caused me to smash my eyes shut and cover my ears to the beast of my ability.. Emmett was positively roaring with laughter, Edward looked terrified, and Bella looked even more pissed than Rosalie.

"What's going on?" asked Jasper. Bella glared harshly in my direction, causing Jasper to shift me even further behind him. For some reason I felt a strange pang of guilt and fear, but before I could say anything she stamped out of the kitchen, leaving the back door open. I knew she only did it to prohibit herself from breaking it with a testy slam. Edward stared at me for a moment and I returned his stare with a furious glare.

"Nothing is going on. Rosalie and I just had a slight argument." He grumbled, setting the twisted pan on the spotless counter with more force than necessary. He turned and followed Bella out the door, his fists clenching and unclenching visibly. I saw Jasper and Emmett exchange a worried, knowing glance, which caused my teeth to grit together in annoyance. I swayed on the spot for the fraction of a second, knowing I would either have to hunt or lie down soon. I stared pointedly at Rosalie before speaking.

"Why were you and Edward arguing?" I asked, using my best-friend-and-sister status against Rosalie. We had never fought more than once in our entire time spent together, and we had been instant friends when Jasper and I arrived. I knew Edward thought she was vapid and self-centered, but I knew she really wasn't, as did Emmett, whom Edward also believed to be stupid. That was why he was very annoying. Just because he could cheat and snoop around in our heads he thought he was superior. Rosalie grumbled incoherently before speaking. Jasper subconsciously tightened his arm around me, sensing I was about to become uncomfortable or upset.

"Edward thinks you're a selfish little child," she said and I sneered, though I had expected Rosalie to be blunt, something else I admired about her. None of the bullshit beating around the bush like with… oh, let's see, Bella? "You won't tell us what's wrong and he's afraid if he looks he'll get mauled by someone." She smiled at this, shrugging.

"He was being a real prick about it, Al, you don't need to worry about it." Said Emmett, who had regained his composure and his place at Rosalie's side.

"Whatever." I grumbled, twisting out of Jasper's grasp and towards the stairs. I wasn't mad at them really, just irritated to the extreme with Bella and Edward. I bit back a smile as I thought of how Bella would feel once I was gone. I wished she could still cry. When Rosalie called after me I shrugged and waved over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" she said, and even though I wasn't facing my sister I could imagine her bouncing from foot to foot as she tried to see around Jasper and Emmett.

"It's fine!" I called, dancing up the stairs. I didn't hear Jasper coming after me, either, and I sank onto the bed, which was the only thing yet to be removed from the room. I immediately curled into a ball holding my head in the most powerful grip I could muster. The scene from the kitchen replayed over and over in my head and I knew I was being lied to. They were protecting me, I was always the one being protected. Just because my mental stability had been questionable in a former life they always clammed up during hard times when they were near me for fear I might actually snap. Well, now that I was actually crazy it was a different story, but I didn't like being treated like a child. There was a light knocking at the door, but it caused a shiver of pain to run through me.

"Alice?" I heard Jasper mutter from the other side of the door. I didn't want to get up because I was certain I would die. The fire at the back of my throat roared to life as Jasper opened the door, the scent of blood hitting me head on. Obviously Jasper didn't have blood, but there must have been some lingering on his skin, in his hair… on his clothes even. I bit my lip as I tried to quell the burn at the back of my throat. He looked into my hungry eyes.

"Yes?" I managed to grunt. He crossed the room with a growl.

"You're thirsty." He snarled, kneeling at the foot of the bed. I pushed away from him with a disgusted groan.

"No, I'm not." I said simply, hauling myself off the bed, pretending the room didn't spin around me when I did. He immediately grabbed me by the shoulders, steadying me. I shrugged him off and looked in the opposite direction. The last thing I needed was for Jasper to see me weak, then it would be impossible to get him to leave my side. I needed him to leave me alone and for some reason I found myself oddly frightened of him.

"Please tell me what's wrong, you're scared." He said softly after a few moments. I looked around in the room, looking anywhere but my beautifully scarred husband. Studying small cracks in the corner of the ceiling I finally spoke.

"I'm fine," I muttered, looking anywhere but into his mesmerizing golden eyes. A single look into them and I would find myself spilling all my secrets, my plan, everything. I felt him touch me lightly on the shoulder, nothing intimate, nothing sweet, just him trying to make sure I was really there, really paying attention. "Look, I really just want everyone to stop worrying, okay?" I whispered, looking down. He reached for my chin and tilted my face to meet his. I felt his golden eyes pierce my black ones and I gasped, surprised by the butterflies that erupted in my stomach the second I looked into them.

"You're lying." He breathed, his face inches from mine. If I had the capability to blush I knew I would be bright red and I fumbled my words momentarily. Charismatic git.

"You don't trust me?" I asked finally. While I hardly suspected a simple guilt trip to work it was always worth a try because after all, Jasper couldn't stand the thought of me being mad at him for more than a few passing moments. When you had eternity together is seemed even more important that every moment was spent in perfect bliss. I wondered how many times Jasper had felt the way I do now, he was the one who had had the biggest struggle adjusting to a vegetarian life and I knew there were many occasions he felt like an evil monster. I knew he wasn't now, but thinking of what he had told me of life in Texas I had to wonder if he still had the potential to be heartless and cruel buried deep within. He probably did, I was learning how hard it was to escape your past. Even if you forget for several decades, it always comes back to haunt you. A rumbling sigh emitted from Jasper who looked exasperated.

"Of course I trust you," he muttered, attempting to make eye contact once more. When I wouldn't gratify the wish he released me and I sank to the bed, still looking anywhere but him. "But there's something troubling you. And it's not Marc Jacobs." He added. I grimaced, damn Rosalie. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to stay calm. Calmer than calm. I needed to be in a state of complete emotional neutrality to lie to Jasper.

"I'm just aggravated. Having a little trouble with my visions because of all the wolves." I stated, and even that felt like I was giving away too much. Still it seemed to be enough for Jasper and for a moment I felt less heartless because of the spark I saw when I admitted part of my problem. He looked relieved like he always did when he helped, or at least thought he had helped, me figure something out. For Jasper it only took hearing the problem to come up with a solution, one of the reasons he was such a great leader, I supposed. I waited for him to launch into a plan of action, to decide he would spirit me away from the wolves or another similar plan. If I hadn't developed my own plot to do so long before I would listened, but instead I decided I would rather not sit here and talk hypothetically about leaving with Jasper. If I did I would be all too tempted to discover what would happen if I suggested leaving on my own, hypothetically, of course. I sat as he began to jabber about how to help me focus on bettering the clarity and frequency of my visions. As if he knew! But I let him have his fun. As he spoke an all too familiar darkness began to creep around the corners of my vision. My heart, or not heart, soared and I clenched my eyes shut focusing on the future and nothing but, leaving my mind open for endless possibilities. Limiting myself when thinking of visions inhibited them, and at last I found myself staring into a world yet to come.

**Jasper sits on the edge of our bed in a room unrecognizable. The new house? The walls, a bright and sunny yellow, create a juxtaposition for the agonized expression on his handsome warrior's features. Next to his left foot on the fluffy white carpet is his cell phone, small and black, with the screen still it up. Though the number on the screen belongs to Edward it is Carlisle that calls to him through the crackles of what is apparently bad reception. In the background of his call strange sounds that liken to Rosalie tear through their surroundings. It sounds like someone who can't physically cry doing their best to try.**

"**I'm so sorry, Jasper, Alice would-" but his statement is cut short as Jasper, eyes alight with a strange, maniacal fire that chills me, lifts his foot and smashes it down on the phone, which disappears in a puff of black plastic powder. A snarling, howling scream rips from his throat.**

I found myself being violently shaken by Jasper. With a shudder my eyes snapped open and I stared into the face of the man whose spirit I was inevitably going to crush. His eyes were alight with concern, but I couldn't shake the sight of the demon eyes I had seen in their place only moments before, the demon eyes that were still to come.

"Alice!" he cried. I immediately focused on the golden eyes, the ones that were still sweet and loving and human. Well, human as was humanly possible. I smiled wryly at my own thoughts, and while I focused on what I had seen I heard the low rumble of Jasper's chuckle. My eyes snapped back open and I frowned at him, frowned at the silly boy with a laughter-creased forehead. I suppressed a growl. Why in the name of God was he laughing? It was not right! At some point, and I couldn't specify which point in time exactly, I was going to achieve my goal of death, and while he could not see this, surely something had to seem off to him.

"What?" I snapped, which caused him to end his giggling with a snort. He rolled his eyes so obviously it was audible.

"Whatever problems you were having with your visions seem to have momentarily subsided," he said with a smile. With a resigned sigh I nodded. Trust Jasper to misconstrue the entire situation. "There's no need to be so serious, it was just a momentary issue." He said, his tone apologetic. I shrugged, not sure of what else to say or do. I noticed I had somehow made my way back onto the bed, Jasper kneeling once again in front of me. Without really knowing what I was doing I made to push him away, his troubled, answer-seeking eyes were infinitely annoying. He was acting like Edward, damn it, and if there was one thing I could not stand about Edward's personality was his persistent nature when it came to figuring out the numerous woes of his wife, and for a moment I felt compelled to share this thought with Jasper. Quickly, however, I changed my mind, as it would only serve to insult Jasper. I loved Edward like a brother, as he was my brother, and I know he always had good intentions, but when something was wrong with Bella and she did not feel like sharing he would nag her until she was worn down enough to tell him. Though I suppose Bella did the same thing… Again I found myself being brought back to reality by Jasper, who actually looked slightly skeptical about something. With a sigh and a weary smile I shook my head, running a hand through my short, black hair.

"What is it now, Jasper?" I asked, placing my hand on top of his, which was resting on my knee.

He looked away for a long moment.

**OooooOOOoooOOOO what is Jasper going to say?! Only I know for certain! Thank you for reading, and please tune in for the next installment, which will be up shortly as reparation for the long delay of this chapter! And I'll make it juicy for you ;)**

**Do tell me what you think!**


	6. Amusement

**I didn't think I would be done so fast, but I am! So ha! I appreciate all the reviews I received for the last chapter and aim to get even more with this one. Special treat: Jasper point of view! Yay! Do forgive what I feel are excessive errors, I'm really not in the mood to find or fix them at the moment, I just wanted to get this up while I was still feeling creative.**

**Please tell me what you think! **

**Thank you to my frequent reviewers, and to the reviewer who said I'm making them annoyed with Edward: Thank you, 'tis what I intended to do! I don't like him (:**

**The song for this chapter is "Let Me Sign" by Rob Pattinson. Don't hate me for it!**

**Au revoir,**

**TheOtherGranger**

**JasperPOV**

I could tell her what "it" was, wanted to tell her, but I could scarcely find the words to tell her exactly what troubled me. Actually, the words were quite easy to come by, but the risk of offending her was great, and I was frightened for some reason that any affront, however slight, might offend her so severely that she would be reluctant to speak of her woes for a very long time. Not that she already wasn't, prying information from my wife was especially hard when she was very troubled or upset. Hard was hardly the correct word, in fact. Alice would seal up like a great vault, shutting the rest of the world, including me, out. Then, she would content herself to sitting with thoughts and mental maladies of varying degrees of seriousness while they festered inside the enclosed space. Usually I would let her stew, mull things over, whatever it took to draw the conflict out of her, but not this time. No, this time her dark thoughts were eating her from the inside out and it enraged me more than I could even begin to comprehend. I felt worthless and useless as I sat by monitoring the swings in her emotions, unable to do anything but that. My stomach ached when I saw her, after all love is a powerful thing, but the ache of love was increased by the ache of sorrow and despair at the troubles of my dearest Alice, the woman I would go to the ends of the earth for if it meant her happiness.

Now, I sat in front of her, and for the first time in my life it was more than a challenge to put together the right words to say. I thought of my conversation with Emmett and Edward earlier in the day, the one held while we were all three trapped inside Emmett's large, red monster of a Jeep, flying down the road at speeds the most reckless of drivers would flinch at.

_"So, Jasper," said Emmett, turning the music completely off. It was already at a remarkably low level, and now Emmett was making sure he could be heard. I sensed a nervousness about him, one not usually present, and I immediately began to dread the coming conversation. "We need to talk about Alice." He said levelly, eyeing me in the rearview mirror. I groaned, leaning my head against the back of my seat._

_"What Emmett means, Jasper, is we are all concerned about Alice." Said Edward, who turned to look me straight in the eyes. I glared at him, there he went, pulling the condescending act. Again. Every time he partook in a serious discussion he felt the need to act wiser than he was. He mostly forgot I was his senior by many, many years and that I could easily tear him to pieces. Somewhat pleased with the thought I smiled, nodding for him to continue. Emmett, watching my tense, angry reaction in the mirror decided it would be better for him to speak instead of Edward._

_"Look man, I'm not trying to tell you what you should do, but you really need to talk to her. She's all hung up about something, and I already tried to get it out of her. So did Rose, and you know if she can't get it out you're the only one with a prayer. You should try to get it out of her, even if she ends up getting pissed off." Emmett said matter of factly, causing me to smile genuinely. I thoroughly enjoyed that Edward hadn't tried to pry._

_"Yes, I already tried. She assures me it's nothing, I know she's lying…" I muttered. "But I have it under control, and I thank you and Rosalie for your help, Emmett." I said, nodding at my brother. Edward was silent for a moment, though I knew he would soon speak. Being Edward I knew he could not stay silent for long when there were serious matters at hand._

_"I could always just peek." I said, looking nervously over his shoulder at me instead of through the mirror. I rolled my eyes._

_"Just leave it, damn." I snapped. Emmett shook his head. I was silent for the rest of the journey into town._

I eventually decided to take Emmett's approach and just be blunt, though I did not want to make her angry.

"Alice, love," I said quietly, staring at her darkened, but still infinitely beautiful, features. Her eyes snapped to me, the dark circles under them looking pitiable rather than vicious for the first time in days. Under the angry surface I could still see my Alice, buried by the pain, but my girl all the same. Her usual exuberant self had disappeared first, followed by her talkativeness, the loss of this was followed very shortly with a lack of desire to hunt, and when she did she lost all finesse. I could not recall the last time she had hunted, and now she seemed like an empty shell. She had hidden her charisma, I thought, and had masked her endearing quirkiness. I still loved her relentlessly, though all her trademark traits had been replaced with ones of despair, anger, and darkness. "You really must tell me what's been bothering you." I said, doing my best to make her feel trusting. Her small nose wrinkled and her obsidian eyes seemed to harden. She shook her head, hair falling carelessly into her eyes. She brushed it absently away, biting her pale bottom lip.

"I mustn't do anything," she muttered, fixing me with a stare I found hard to read. I withheld a groan. I knew when she was being intentionally insufferable, and one of those moments happened to be now. She was stubborn, more stubborn than any other woman he had come across in his life when she wanted to be, even more stubborn than Rosalie when she chose to be, in fact, a feat made almost impossible by Rosalie's sense of self-importance. While Alice was not conceited or narcissistic, as Rosalie could be, she was equally thick-headed, unwilling to admit faults when she was in any sort of argument unless someone could provide her a clear answer better than her own. Alice sighed again, shrugging her shoulders in a very obvious manner. "I don't know why everyone keeps bothering me!" she said, and I knew she was forcing her tone to be harsh and cutting. It was not an Alice tone at all, but the fact remained that it fell against my ears like broken glass, harsh and jagged. The hurt and surprise must have shown in my eyes, for in a moment her expression had become piteous and softer. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak and I knew I would have to choose my words carefully. She was expecting me to manipulate her, she knew what I aimed to do, but for once she was incorrect in the assumption that I would try to manipulate my way to what I wanted. When I didn't speak, she spoke again, and I knew my silence weighed heavier on her than sweet words. "You can't think this has something to do with you, Jasper, it is my problem and mine alone." Alice said with such strange finality I did not wish to question her, but I did.

"And you're sure you can't share with me?" I asked, causing her to respond more quickly than I would have thought.

"Yes I'm sure!" she said, standing up in exasperation. I felt a flash of rage and was scalded. She whirled around to face me, violent rage simmering behind her eyes, and for a moment she looked as if she might attack me. "You wouldn't be able to understand, it is utterly incomprehensible to you or anyone else!" The emotion changed along with her voice. As her voice rose in pitch and volume so did the anger until it simmered out at the end into a feeling of self-loathing and despair, one so strong I had never felt anything like it before. Not even before Edward had left Bella after I almost killed her had a felt such hatred towards oneself. He had loathed himself, and that had been almost unbearable. I had never seen such swings in Alice's emotions, they usually only went from happy to happier, and on occasion nervous. The spikes of anger and rage left me with whiplash. It took a minute for our dark bedroom to spin back into focus, as I had literally been blinded by the wrath and loathing pouring from her. The strangest thing was there was no direction to the emotion, no target for it, except for herself. I stood, looking around the room for her. It took me a moment to locate her as I was still very much in shock. She stood on the opposite side of the room looking revolted, I was doing my best to shut out this emotion, and terrified, this I did not shut out, as fear was always easy to handle. Alice quivered visibly, not bothering to look at me. It took another long moment for my emotions to kick in, and I chose to repress them as well. I was angry, as I had just been yelled at, upset Alice was keeping something from me, and I could not name the I emotion felt in seeing my love in such pain and turmoil. I opened my arms and began to slowly approach her. As she heard me stir she fixed me with a black, blank stare, her thin face framed by her uncharacteristically ruffled hair. Her mouth was fixed in a grimace, her eyes framed by dark purple. She looked gaunt, even though it was impossible for her to grow to be so. I wanted to speak, and intended to, but she stopped me before I could, lurching unsteadily and numbly towards the door. "I'm sorry." Was all she said before throwing herself into the hall. I heard the front door slam behind her and with a snarl I began to follow, only to see the entire family, sans Carlisle and Esme, standing there, looking expectantly up towards me. Their emotions ranged from worried to upset to amused. _AMUSED?!_ Fire roared in my throat as my eyes pierced Edward and Bella. Edward stared defiantly back at me, but Bella ducked her head and shifted behind Edward. The five of us, Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, and myself, stood in a silent impasse. I knew Emmett was standing by in case I should lunge for Edward or Bella, but I took a deep breath, making a noble attempt to quell the ache for a fight at the back of my throat and mind.

"Whichever one of you," I began, glowering at them in turn as I began to descend the steps. "Thinks this is funny-" I continued, my tone menacing and gravelly. I projected a general feeling of terror unto them both, but Edward, foolish Edward, stepped in front of Bella.

"Jasper." Was all he said in a warning tone. I smirked, knowing now without doubt the culprit of the outrageous emotion to be Bella. I shook my head at her, watching as her golden eyes grew wide in terror. Even physically able to fight she was still too weak otherwise to do a thing when confronted with a challenge.

"Remember you know nothing of our lives, child," I growled at her, my teeth bared. I could hear Emmett and Rosalie move closer, to inhibit a fight hopefully, but for some reason I thought Rosalie might attack Bella. I could feel a disgust and annoyance coming from Rosalie being projected indefinitely towards Bella, something I had not felt Rosalie feel about her in a long while. Bella failed to realize that while she was now one of us, we were old and set in our ways and had made allowances for her to join us. "This is not amusing in the slightest, you impudent little girl." I snapped. She shuddered and I knew she was terrified she was going to see what a monster I could truly be. Edward stepped closer to me and I snarled. Suddenly, Emmett was fisting the back of my shirt and palming Edward's chest. I hadn't seen him move to my side. Rosalie was tugging my arm, but I knew she held on only to control herself. Bella seemed to have somewhat recovered and was making to step next to Edward. There was a loud cough from the doorway and I saw Esme, her mouth set in a grim line, begin to cross the room towards us. Still seeing red, I managed to divert my attention to her and whatever she was saying.

"What is going on here!" she snapped, giving each of us a reprimanding look. I felt a flash of anger when her eyes flickered across Bella's face. I smiled faintly in satisfaction. She also did not like Bella's causing problems when we had already bent of backwards time and time again for the girl. I also knew, however, that she, being the mother, would remain objective.

"Argument." Emmett grunted, looking at Rosalie who looked absolutely furious even still. Esme sighed.

"Well break it up," she growled, shooing the couples plus myself in different directions. "Cut it out, whatever is going on with Alice should not be affecting us so negatively." Esme said with authoritative certainty. Knowing it would now be useless to follow Alice, I turned and returned to our bedroom, sitting with my eyes closed.

*******

**APOV**

As I barreled out of the house I passed Rosalie and Emmett who seemed to have just filed into the foyer. I tossed them a careless glance over my shoulder, finding it impossible to muster a look of malice for them. I wanted out before Edward and Bella came to see what the ruckus was about, and luckily I managed to do just that.

As I sprinted across the sloping backyard I splashed through a mud puddle, the water splashed into my face, but I did not stop to wipe it off. I quickly diverted my path to the forest lining the right side of the yard, changing my gait to accommodate leaping and bounding over fallen trees. I crashed through the bracken covered ground, not stopping when I raced past a rather large deer, though the scent did strike me quite hard. I found it almost impossible not to turn to the sweet smell of warm blood and drink, but I felt a knot in my stomach and found I would not be able to enjoy the taste. My entire mouth felt as if I had swallowed coals by the time I had reached a rather large clearing at the base of the mountain range bordering our home. My legs ached and I collapsed to the ground, relishing in the unusual exhaustion I felt from running. It felt amazing, however, to run so freely. I had not done so in weeks, and even now, as I felt I might die from the sharp burning in my throat and legs, I laughed breathlessly.

I did not know how long I lay there or how far I had run, but it took me a very long while to realize the physical pain and exhaustion had been keeping from me the unsavory thoughts that had been plaguing me. I sat up, staring at the night sky. The air smelled of rain and electricity, a thunderstorm, and by the feel of it a large one.

Jasper loved me, there was no doubt of that, but I knew I caused him only more and more pain when I treated him the way I had been recently. He felt useless, that much was obvious, but I knew he also thought I did not trust him. The argument still seared like a fresh wound on my heart and pride, however, and it seemed to me the sooner I could get out the less pain it would cause. I caused only more turmoil by sticking around, prolonging my leave, making everyone attempt to fix what was wrong. The thing they could not comprehend, no, none of them could possibly understand what it meant to see so vividly into both future and past.

Laying on my back in the grass I felt the world grow dark. I clutched at the soft, moist on either side of me, willing not to lose sanity now. The last thing I heard was a woeful moan and I hadn't enough time to comprehend that it was I that had made the lamentable sound.

_Bathed in blood, Solomon Greene stood several feet in front of the young, quivering inmate named 24601, or Mary Alice. Her eyes, dark blue, watched him intently as he crossed the small cell once more, running a hand through fire colored locks. His crimson eyes snapped to hers when he heard a small giggle emit from the tiny girl._

_"What are you laughing at, you fool child!" he growled, crouching down to stare at her from the same level. She smiled at him, the muscles in cheeks twitching as she did so. Neither of the two in the small cell could remember her ever smiling. Solomon groaned, standing back up, prodding the body of the now dead night watchman. The body lolled grotesquely, earning a louder snort from the disheveled, emaciated girl._

_"I'm sorry!" she muttered, the laugh beginning to sound more hysterical. "But if only you knew what this meant!" Solomon turned, the blood beginning to dry on his chin._

_"I know what it means, Alice." He groaned, his voice apologetic. He had decided to forgo the use of her first name a while ago, as she did not strike him as a Mary. Her expression changed from one of glee to a sullen glowering one._

_"Once again, thank you for your impeccable timing. If only you had been a little earlier it might have borne more consequence." She sniffed, biting her lip viciously to keep from crying. Solomon sighed, picking up a bundle of clothing off the floor._

_"You could at least try to act grateful, Alice." He growled, tossing the clothes at her. She unfolded them quickly, glad to see a pile of completely fresh clothing. It was now she blushed, realizing Solomon had burst into the room while the guard was… She chose not to think about it._

_"Thank you," she muttered. "Now be a gentleman and turn around." She commanded, beginning to pull on the bright white clothing. It stood out in the oppressive darkness of the cell. She shed the torn and bloodied rags she had been wearing for the last several weeks._

_"If anyone asks, the screaming did not come from your cell." Solomon said, turning around to face her once she told him she was decent._

_"Right." She nodded, watching the beautiful man as he picked up the body of the man he had just slain. Slain for her. His eyes had lost the safe butterscotch coloring now that he had killed and tasted the blood of the guard._

_"I'll be back in two days, Alice," he said, crossing the small space towards her. He pulled her into a quick hug, relinquishing contact when he realized he might soil her fresh clothing with blood. "And remember I love you."_

_"I love you too." Muttered Mary Alice, watching with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as the cell door swung shut behind Solomon and the_ _body._

I sat upright with a gasp. The first crash of thunder echoed around me, as did the realization that Solomon Green had once been in love with me. And I with him. While this prospect should have comforted me and bolstered happiness, I felt even more worthless of Jasper's love. I had obviously loved again after Solomon had been killed, and while I could not remember what had passed between us all those years ago I felt like I had betrayed both him and Jasper. My first instinct was to run, run from the new realization that was going to be the proverbial nail in the coffin. I wanted to run now, put my plan into motion now, and run farther and faster than I had ever intended to.

So I did.

**Soooo, I hope you enjoyed! Leave your thoughts and whatever you have to say about this chapter! I love getting feedback!**

**Now, I urge you to go take the poll. Is Alice going to die? Is Alice going to live? Let's hear what the general public has to say!**


	7. Nightmares

**This isn't edited at all. I've struggled with some hardcore writer's block on this story, so I just threw it all down and here you have it! I certainly hope there are people still interested in this story, so if you enjoy what you see, leave me a review! If you don't, it's alright, but you really should ;)**

**Songs are as follows:**

**Renesmee's Section- "Sally's Song" from A Nightmare Before Christmas**

**Alice's Section- "Until the Day I Die" by Story of the Year**

**Au Revoir,**

**TheOtherGranger**

**RenPOV**

* * *

"_RUN!" I willed of the small, trembling girl with short dark hair. "You have to keep going, he's around the corner!" I shrieked, but to no avail. With a graceless tumble the girl sprawled forward, cutting her palms on a rough flagstone floor. I groaned. "God damn it!" I bellowed at her, knowing she could not hear me. _

_At the end of the hall we had just exited there was a loud clattering as our pursuer rounded the corner, a devilish smile curling his ugly, alcohol flavored mouth. I lashed out at the girl, she had gotten us caught, again. I tried to continue down the hall as the man sauntered towards where my companion had fallen, and as always there was no escaping. In the moment before the perspective transitioned, as I had been fearing, something remarkable occurred. Something new. For a fleeting moment her eyes locked onto mine, they were a tortured blue, and I gasped._

"_Help me." Whimpered words, directed at me, she knew I was here. I choked back a sob and extended an arm._

"_Alice?" My eyesight swam, I was dizzy._

_Soon the dream changed, as it always did, so that I was viewing it from the body of the girl in the rags marked "24601." The man was almost upon me, and I did my best to scramble to my feet. I could hear cackling and screaming from nearby rooms, and when I pushed off to continue my run, but my legs were cut out from under me by the man I knew to be a guard. _

"_NO!"_ _I screamed, the rough voice that was not my own echoing around the stone corridor. I flailed helplessly, but it was too late he, he was upon me, grabbing tightly my wrists and-_

"Nessie!" someone called softly, shaking me by the shoulder. "Nessie, wake up." They said, their deep voice soft and anxious. I lashed out, a purely instinctual gesture, and found my attacking limb grabbed lightly by Jacob's rough hand. I sighed, withdrawing my hand from his grasp. I immediately raised up, shaking out my curly brown hair and looking around in confusion. Of course I could not forget for long where I was, I was pressed against the wall in Jacob's bed, the place I had been sleeping for the last two weeks. Naturally my parents thought I was staying with Charlie and Sue Clearwater. I disengaged myself from the tangled sheets quickly, rubbing my eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked hurriedly. Jacob's eyes crinkled in a smile as he observed me from his crouching spot on the floor of his miniscule bedroom. He looked quite ridiculous crammed in here, as he was nearing on six foot, eight inches and the room appeared to only be about six feet wide. At first he had crammed himself on the bed with me, but after many nights of discomfort he had taken to sleeping on the couch in the living room, but apparently I had been screaming. I sighed and tugged on my hair again in agitation. He reached out slowly, untangling my hands from my hair.

"Calm down, Ness!" Jacob muttered, folding his large, heated hands around my smaller, cooler ones. I forced a smile, one big enough to fool Jacob into thinking I was okay.

"Yeah, it was just a dream," I muttered, shaking my head like I thought myself to be some silly little girl. "Sorry, Jake!" I added, turning to rearrange the blankets and sheets I had wrecked. He smiled and pressed his lips gently against mine, fixing me with a strange glance before he left the room.

"Sleep well, Nessie!" he said, shutting the door behind him. I rolled my eyes at this. Whatever sleep I had been getting recently was not happy or peaceful in the slightest. I had not been sleeping "well." My sleep had been plagued with terrifying nightmares, only they felt so much more vivid than anything I could imagine. I was reluctant to fall asleep every night, terrified of who was waiting for me once I did. I always started out observing, knowing that the dream would take a turn for the worse but unable to do anything about it, then the dream would shift and I would observe the most terrible moments from the perspective of the small, dark haired girl. It took me a minute to think of the word that described what always happened… rape. The dreams made me feel sick, and while I was usually happy during the day, once the sky began to darken and I began to grow weary my mood would change so that I seemed similar to a sullen, reclusive teenager. I was horrified of the things I knew I was not dreaming on my own, something else was driving these terrors into me, invading my mind when it was the weakest. Yet who could I tell?

And who was the girl? 24061? I knew it was not her name, that much was obvious. I know the dreams took place in some sort of prison, maybe an asylum? The small physique, the dark hair… it reminded me of Alice… but it couldn't be her! I refused to believe she had suffered through what I was seeing. Would I not know the story already? I knew Rosalie's. Something stirred in the pit of my stomach though, with each dream I grew increasingly convinced of my fears and suspicions. It was Alice, it had to be. The girl looked so much like her, human, of course. Some part of me had known all along, but now I was sure, she had looked at me. I twisted my hands in my hair, withholding a groan of confusion. I breathed deeply, reminding myself to calm down, lest Jacob feel the need to return. I didn't know if I could handle his babying at the moment.

I sat cross-legged on the bed waiting for the return of Jacob's steady, light snoring. It took five minutes, though that was all the time it should have taken, I knew he was quite exhausted lately. Too many superfluous patrols, they were totally unnecessary, but everyone seemed to think I needed constant protection. Did my being half vampire not benefit me in this area? When he had been out for twenty minutes and I knew I had no hope of returning to sleep I jumped off the bed, landing quietly on the floor without so much as a creak from the springs of the bed or wood of the floor. I stole a glance at the clock, it was only 12:15. _Drat_, I thought, cursing myself silently. _So much for your beauty sleep!_ I did not exactly _need _to sleep, I could go for a long while without it, though I had never really tested the ability, it was only what I had been told by Carlisle. I usually got too grumpy after staying up for more than twenty four hours, but the dwindling hours were starting to get to me, the lack of sleep was making the sullenness much worse. I crossed to the window, which was much higher than usual in the wall, and slid it open with ease and silence. I had oiled it within two days of being here, as it was my only means of sneaking out. I easily hoisted myself onto the sill, dropping effortlessly onto the soggy, green earth below. I made a face as the mud oozed between my bare toes, but I kept myself from muttering the several expletives that came to mind. I turned and gently slid the window shut behind me, grimacing as I did so. Every night I managed to get out I feared Jacob would somehow hear the window being closed. _So much for Jacob being a faithful watchdog, _I thought as I pulled at one of the rips in my jeans. I had changed into them before bed, knowing if I woke up and wanted to sneak out I would not have time to put them on instead of my pajamas. They were close to being in tatters, as the last time I had worn them there had been a rather nasty encounter with a bear on the outskirts of the reservation. Of course, I was the only who knew about it, as the attack had happened during one of my midnight excursions. I had taken a steak to a few small, abandoned fox cubs I had found on the border of one of the many area parks outside the reservation. After I had fed them I had kept the packaging, I did not want to litter. I was, however, not content to simply return home to fight off more nightmares, so I had lain down next to a stream, staring at the cloudy night sky. Attracted by the scent of raw meat a bear had snuck up on the extremely distracted me, managing to grab hold of my legs. The bear, however, was the only one to sustain serious injury. There had been tiny scratches on my thighs, but they were a marginally smaller injury than a real person would have sustained and I had barely felt the wounds. I walked silently to the end of Jacob's drive, taking one last look at the house before I took off at a sprint in the opposite direction of Cullen territory. I ran towards the base of the mountains visible from the trees near the La Push beach, glad to be free from my carefully, but surreptitiously scheduled day. My parents and Jacob seemed to think I didn't notice that every day I was engaged in the same structured, safe activities. It was boring as hell. And of course, the dreams made me feel even cagier than I normally would have.

Structured environments, I had found, were extremely boring. Especially when the people in them were completely wrong for the picture. My so-called "conventional family" was made up of not-siblings and teenagers, as well as wolves, and a few humans who were totally out of place. I had also never met my grandmother, Renee. My mom said it was because she would not be able to handle me, and from what I had heard about her I had drawn two possible conclusions based on what all had been said about her. One reason I could think she really did not want me to meet her is because she was afraid she would think my mother to be some stupid slut with a child that was already almost full grown. The other reason I could think of, and this was based more on what my mother had actually said than my own assumption, is that Renee would think I was the devil incarnate and would have some sort of meltdown. I actually really didn't care, I had come to terms with myself about being a freak a long time ago, and not being able to meet one human did not bother me all that much. In fact, the only that really did bother me about my circumstances was the whole business of imprinting.

To begin with, I was uncertain of how I came to acquire the knowledge. After all, my parents kept so much intentionally hidden away from me. Like the fact that my mother had conceived me while still human, or that we were a family of freaks. They also tried to conceal from me my technically being bound for all eternity to Jacob, and it wasn't until recently I had realized I did not want to end up with him in the end, not in any sort of husband-wife situation. I loved him, but I knew I could never look at him the way my aunt Alice looked at my uncle Jasper. I would never be able to selflessly love him the way Esme loved Carlisle. Never adore him the way Rosalie adored Emmett. And I would never be able to sacrifice my own life the way my mother was going to sacrifice herself for my father, and myself, technically. It was clear to me that deeper feelings had begun to develop towards me from Jacob. I looked like I was fifteen, roughly, and in the past two weeks he had mustered up the courage to kiss me. Now I let him whenever he wanted, though it was usually a chaste kiss goodnight, as that was as much as I wanted. I really only thought of him as my best friend, and since he had begun to like me as more than his younger companion I had begun to lose sleep over the implications of the situation between us. He was supposed to accept what I wanted, but if he grew to love me then I would have to love him, whether I liked it or not. _It's too bad I'm not that selfless_, I thought grimly as I entered a clearing, only partially rain spattered by the beginnings of the storm I had left a few miles back. Thunder clapped behind me and I gave a small, tired giggle, I loved storms, they were the perfect cover for running and they disrupted my supposedly perfect world. Inside the clearing I stopped running and slowed to a lagging walk that aggravated me, but I needed to figure out where I was, so I forced myself to stop and take in my surroundings. Raising my face to the impending tempest I sniffed the air lightly, the crackling scent of electricity was strong, as was a smell of rain. I could smell the flowers, and the animals that had long retreated into seclusion for the night or to hide from the storm. A strange smell caught me off guard, however. The peculiar scent was lavender, almost, and hinted at my favorite tomato gnocchi dish, the only human food I would eat willingly, which was extremely odd. Brow furrowed I lowered into a defensive crouch, taking a few careful steps in the direction the familiar aromas were billowing from. It took me one long moment to realize I was smelling a vampire, and I shortly placed the more personalized scents of lavender and gnocchi with… Alice? I could not see my small, dark haired aunt, but I knew she was here, or had been only moments ago. Squinting my eyes to concentrate I peered through the tall flowers that would soon my torn from the ground by what had been described already as one of the worst storms seen by Forks, and that was saying something, considering how much it rained in my dreary, boring town.

I paced the clearing methodically and silently for half an hour, finding no sign of my aunt. I could not smell Jasper, and it was so unlike her to be this far from home without Jasper during a storm. I was the only one who knew storms frightened my fiery aunt, and I had sworn to her I would not share this with anyone, but I still could not reason why she was out so late and in the storm, nonetheless. It made a little bit more sense though, with my new realization of the tormented girl in my dreams being Alice. If she really was Alice it amazed me she could still manage to function normally, after all, I was only dreaming these things and it was starting to take a toll on me. _After this you had better head home,_ a voice in my head grumbled at me. I rolled my eyes at my own rationalizations, like I had ever listened before. _Damn it Alice, like it would have killed you to hold still for a minute,_ I thought grumpily. I hadn't had a chance to see her in the two weeks I had been at Jacob's, plus a whole week and a half when she had avoided me and the rest of the house so persistently one would think we were plotting to murder her at the next available chance. I did not really mind, I knew all too well how overbearing and annoying my parents could be, especially to Alice, who was treated as the baby of the older vampires almost constantly. What I could not fathom however, was how intent she seemed to be on causing pain for the rest of the family. It seemed like she no longer saw those who loved her in the right perspective. No matter how hard they all tried to draw her out of hiding she would retreat to her artificially and heavily darkened room with a strange headache that no one would speak the cure to. And I knew it had something to do with me, but I still loved Alice, I looked up to her, and I knew I had to try and help her.

"Jesus Christ, Alice." I grumbled, lashing out at a nearby rock, which trembled beneath my effortlessly aimed kick. I watched in fascination as a thin fault line appeared in the small boulder, and it took a moment for my eyes to register a small, bare footprint in the mud that was not my own. It was pointed due north, and it smelled strongly of Alice. The wind kicked up in front of me, and it was almost like a flashing sign pointing in her direction. Listening closely I could hear the fall of her feet, growing more distant by the second. I grinned and shook my head, already beginning to plan how I would find her.

**APOV**

Running was effortless, avoiding trees required no thought, but to keep myself set in a steady, furious forward motion took everything. As I ran I pushed aside all thoughts of home, of Jasper, of what I was leaving. When I had scarcely made it out of the clearing I thought I heard someone enter it from the opposite side behind me, and I stopped for a moment, listening attentively. When I could not discern who it was I turned, and through the trees I managed to catch a glimpse of tousled bronze hair.

"Nessie, what are you doing." I hissed, more to myself than at her. I wanted to go back to the clearing and chide her for being out unattended, I also wanted to know how she had gotten free, but I didn't, though I stood and watched her for a moment. It was too bad, now my last memory of the family was going to be of my niece and not of my husband. I scrutinized her movements, laughing at what was clearly an attempt to track me, and I did not think anything ill of her actions until I saw her head whip towards where I was standing, her intelligent, searching eyes narrowed in triumph. Two options seemed to be presented to me: I could approach her and force her to return back to Jacob's or I could run. Either way she would tell the rest of my family she had seen me, and that was the absolute last thing I wanted to happen. Her eyes continued to search the tree line where I had hidden myself and after a moment of me tensely waiting I felt her inquisitive brown eyes lock onto my own hungry black eyes. She knew I was here.

"Alice!" I heard her call, her lilting voice carried over the brewing storm with ease, cutting through the low growls and rumbles of the storm. The branch I had been clasping without really knowing crumbled beneath my right hand. I was stupid to have stayed still for so long and now I would have to pay the price for it. When she saw I would not run she began to prance towards me, gaining easily on me. As she drew nearer I sized her up without realizing what I was doing. She an entire three inches taller than me now, but if I had to fight her to escape I would be able to do so with ease… I shuddered once the thought had finished passing through my addled mind. Would I really attack a child? I shook my head and set my teeth, giving a tense, forced smile when she was close enough to read my expressions.

"Nessie," I said, my voice strained as I attempted not to breathe. I had forgotten she would obviously smell of blood. I had also forgotten how starving I was. "Why are you here?" I murmured, surveying her tattered jeans and muddy feet. She offered me a sheepish smile, attempting to distract my chidings.

"I left Jake's," she said, shrugging. I rolled my eyes, I knew she hadn't really been staying with her grandfather, but I had to admit she was pretty gutsy staying at Jacob's, especially now that she looked like a teenager. She had always been advanced for her age in terms of maturity and intelligence, but now the rest of her was catching up. For some reason though, she still had a childish look about her. Her face, though beautiful, still held the tiniest bit of childish roundness, though if she was truly fifteen, as she looked, it would have probably long disappeared and her eyes were wide and innocent looking. She was thin in the extreme, like me, but she did not exactly look like a fully developed girl, she had a boyish body, though it still maintained enough femininity. She had shot up in height, and I knew the rest of her would catch up within the next sixth months. She stopped a few feet in front of me and surveyed my expression. She refrained from saying anything about how I looked, for which I was grateful. She seemed to be the only one to extend the courtesy to me. Our short conversation dissolved into silence. I tried to ignore the stabbing pain that had begun to pound once more in my head as she approached, and she was thinking, biting her lip nervously, like she was afraid to ask something. Before I could press the matter, she spoke. "Alice, what do you know about dreams?" I restrained a sigh of fury. She hunted me down so she could ask about dreams. What was she thinking about? _Please tell me she isn't having sex dreams yet!_ I thought, contemplating pretending that I did not her query.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's normal." I said shortly, shaking my head at her. She narrowed her eyes at me, she had caught my patronizing tone.

"Well, Alice, I'm sure it's _not _normal," she snapped in return. She seemed to hold some of Rosalie's spiteful sarcasm, and some of my unwillingness to admit fault. Beneath her brown eyes I saw dark circles. She wasn't sleeping right, and this stirred feelings of worry. She took a deep breath. "I don't know how to explain this, you'll probably think I'm crazy…" she trailed off, carefully contemplating her next words. After a moment she spoke again. "Look, there's no way to do this without being blunt," she ran a hand nervously through her hair, looking around the forest. "But I've been having these dreams, and I think they're about you. I can't sleep because of them," she bit her lip, clearing her thoughts. "They terrify me." I noticed how she tripped over the words, she always seemed ashamed to admit weakness, and I wanted to reach out to comfort her. Though she looked fifteen I could see the childish fear playing across her face, creasing her forehead and causing her to pout. I sighed.

"What do you know?" I asked, my voice even and calm. She shrugged her shoulders violently. I could tell she was near tears. She seemed embarrassed and scared. My mind immediately flew into action. Something was connecting our minds, I knew it. What were the chances she would randomly share the same flashbacks as I did? Only for her they manifested themselves as dreams. She would tell Edward she had seen me leaving. I couldn't go. I needed to know what connected us. A completely insane thought flew through my head. "Nessie, can you come with me? To Mississippi?" I asked casually, putting my arm around her shoulders. _You are completely fucking insane…_ echoed a voice.

**X**

"Mississippi?" came the breath. The figure smiled. They had been waiting for so long to have the shortest Cullen trapped. The taller of the two girls, the halfling, looked scared, so weak… It had been eighty nine years. The figure was ready to reclaim what rightfully belonged to them. "Mary Alice…" the sigh sounded like the wind.

* * *

**Ohh, by the way, I don't know how old I said Renesmee was, if I did at all. In any case, I now have her as being six and looking fifteen. If that is stated differently elsewhere, sorry, but I changed it! I looked to see if I mentioned her age before but it doesn't look like I did. If I did mention her age/appearance and have missed it, please tell me where and I'll fix it right away :) I'm still looking through to make sure I didn't make a mistake.**

**Sooo, please tell me what you thought! (: Little bit of a cliffhanger… hehe. The "demon" makes its first appearance.**


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